Thank You, Indian Cinema!

Thank You for movies like Pink and Akira and many more!

They say “Cinema is a reflection of Society”. From the past 60 years of Indian Cinema producing movies on the respective societal conditions. For instance, during80s you get to see movies based on revenge, vengeance, and glorious 90s where you get movies mainly on love, marriage, family and relationships. From 2000 onwards the main theme has little been shifted to social issues and prevailing notions. Now we have movies like A Wednesday, Laga Chunri me Daag, Tare Zameen Par, English Vinglish, Munna Bhai Series, Gulaab Gang, 3 Idiots, Queen, Piku, Madari, Budhha in a Traffic Jam, Aligarh, Pink, Akira etc. to name a few.

Consecutive release of women-centric movies like Queen, Ki & Ka, Akira, Pink, Parched are a kind of eye-opener for our society. A society, where our thoughts are so ingrained in deep patriarchal values. The mentality like girl’s dressing sense, type of friend she has, time of coming back home etc. decide her character for others. And she has to believe what others say about her, and for that matter just to be a good/decent girl in the eyes of others she forces herself to change accordingly. One of my friend was working as a content writer in a fairly reputed organization who were paying well enough, but it was for night shifts. And she had to leave the job because of the neighbours who constantly provoked her parents. This is happening in National Capital Region – Delhi, leave alone the other metro cities. We still have people who guide us what to wear and what not, where to go and where not, and they brand you as ‘that-type girl’ if you differ. You are always judged by your acquaintances, colleagues, neighbours and other random strangers at every point without any reason. Regardless, you have survived to prove your worth. Being emotionally independent along with financial independence, physically strong for self-defense, taking a stand of your own amidst criticism, free-spirited and impulsive are some of the traits which characterizes modern women.

The portrayal of free-spirited, emotionally independent women who take decisions of their own and believe in themselves amidst the societal sanctions is the Change, the change we notice in our cinema. The role of parents/family have minimized to some extent. Women are now the bread-winners for themselves and for their family and when time demands they can go to any extent to prove their potential. In a society like us, where people are more concerned about image other than anything else, you have to create an image of yourself most suiting the prevailing values of society. If a man has no obstacles in fulfilling his dream then why women are criticized for chasing their dream. Women constitute half of the world population, and their decision, dreams, goals, choices, attitudes should matter to their family and friends.

Movies are mirror of society, and congratulations that we have achieved at that level of maturity where movies like Pink and Akira are being made and highly appreciated and accepted by majorities as well. Thank you to the makers!

Why those six men only ?

The recent horrifying, brutal, inhuman gang rape case is being discussed in the electronic media. Protest march, candle light procession are being held nationwide for demanding death penalty for the accused. Even there are some groups who are talking about some medieval punishment for the key accused. And certainly the crime they did is brutally heinous. The 23 year old girl along with her boyfriend are being tortured in a moving bus and the girl was raped by 6 men and then they assaulted her by using an iron road which they put that in to her vagina and so on. Writing such words are giving me goosebumps all over my body, how the girl would have gone through such a flagitious act. The girl's small intestine is almost damaged and the doctors removed almost 70% of it. Today, even after 4 days of that incident the girl is still critical and rests on a ventilator support.

Well, the point of discussion here is, that our society has lost all the ethics it had developed through a process of evolution as the Darwin's theory supports. But I believe the society is going back to those Paleolithic days, and even worst. Because I have never read in my ancient history books that people are raped or killed or whatever! The whole point lies in the 'socialization', the values and morals they got from their respective generations in a family or from the society they live in. And what happened to some people around who have suddenly woke up demanding a death penalty for the accused. Why those six men only? 

Yes I am talking about those males who sometimes enjoy checking out girls and passing lewd comments not necessarily openly but among their mates or may be fantasizing on their mind. Yes I am talking about those males who enjoy talking about a female's private part. And I wonder why all the abuses are centered around a female or her private part, such as "bastard" which significantly means to her mother; "maa ki ankh"; "mother-fucker"; "sister-fucker" etc. Why a female? And why not a male? 

And today suddenly those men woke up demanding a death penalty. This is how hypocrite of you? I mean, how many of you have forced you girlfriend to have sex with you and for that matter sometimes without wearing a condom? And didn't you force her emotionally to do that? Isn't that a rape? Or for example, say, how many people have forced their wives to have a sex without the wives consent? And most importantly in arranged marriages, I have heard my friend's stories where they have been raped by their so called respective husbands on the wedding night. Isn't that rape? Yeah, we can call it a rape but we generally don't because it is legally approved. In our society where arranged marriages are still on run and people prefer to arrange marriages where they are so ready to encounter a stranger and having sex on the first night itself not necessarily without mutual consent. So how many of you all have done this? So how many of you have the courage to move forward to accept this? To whom you are going to hang?

Its not all about giving a right type of punishment for a very wrong type of deed. Its about changing ourselves and changing our stupid mindset and thought process. Teach your son/brother/grandson to respect others and respect women, just like you taught him to respect your teachers/elders. Teach your son that women are not an object or commodity but it is as equal as them. Teach them to love and respect.

a b c d e ...

TIME has taught me everything. In fact it teaches everything.....we learn very valuable things from our valuable time. I wonder, whether others do it or not. But I, honestly and religiously follow my conscience which comes after a continuing evaluation of my good and bad experiences. I always prefer to listen to my heart other than my mind, because I know that mind is only a cellular organ which advices us (perhaps) the logical and most rational explanation of a phenomena. But Heart acts very contrast to Mind, but gives us pure idea based on emotion.

We learn from each and every instances of our life situations. And we apply that knowledge to modify our behaviour. But the most important thing one must learn, is to acknowledge people according to their thinking, behaviour and habits. This is very interesting that we know almost 10,000 (or even more) people by face, and among them we know 5,000 persons by name....or may be less than that, and almost 600-800 people we know properly and 400 among them we are in contact with. But there are only few who are our nearers and dearers.... And again there are very few(10-15) with whom we have spend a very valuable periods/times of our life. Who will be always there in our heart. Interesting and true.

I treasure everybody in my life with whom we have created a fountain of laughter....and i will be grateful to them who are there in my heart FOREVER !!!

I wish everybody a very happy and prosperous NEW YEAR !!! Love you all....... :-)

our so-called western minded-ness***

Some things come very sudden. Sometimes its very hard to get what is going on, and when we realize, its already be too late. No one understand and no one pays attention. Everything in life is just an ongoing process. Whatever will happen, life must go on...

We are here for the fulfillment of certain things. And we are trying hard to get to that, in what way does not matter. Family members should appreciate this. Sometimes they became so lost that they forgot about their child's wish. They want their child to do what they want. No one pays attention to the child's wish, aim. We live in a very conservative society. No matter how much modern we think, no matter how much modern we behave...at the end, we have to do what we supposed to do (according to the stupid laws of society). For example: Marriage. This, i believe a very stupid institution in our society. Where you have to enter at your own risk (hahaha). And no one is in the exception except those few who dare to stay alone. I am not saying that Marriage is not good, but sometimes it spoil someone's life unknowingly (though its very rare). Cases are there of domestic violence, wife battering, dowry, rape etc etc, where the females do not have any other option other than "killing themselves" i.e. suicide. If not then they are killed by their so called in-laws. Now also there are cases of 'honour killings' where parents and siblings also dare to kill their own blood. Shocking !!!

The other day we are discussing the evil effects of marriage. Marriage is necessray, I agree but there are many negative points too. Marriage is a legally sactioned behaviour where one can legally rape her wife (mind it, legally), no matter what the wife goes through. I have heard many cases of 'marital rape' which come under domestic violence act. But who cares. Very few educated women also feared of getting it complained because of the fear of loosing their status. I am not talking about the rural folks, the story is very different in rural areas. Talking about the women who are educated like us also fears of doing that. And still many of like us are the victims of these violence. But as you are married you have to bear the patriarchal notions of our so-called western society. You have to behave accordingly after marriage, you have to wear certain type of clothes after marriage, even sometimes you have to change your food habits. GOD! And they all spare it only for one person, for one family...because she is a girl and she has to do so by the pre-sanctioned notions of society.

In this regard I prefer this "live-in-relationships". Here atleast you have your own choice of living and behaving and at the same time you will not be  a victim of the various societal menace. There is also disadvantages of this, but many people today are going for this. And laws of our country is also favorable for this.

The question is how you maintain a relation. Whether in a marriage or in a relationship. Post-modern world is characterised by much of selfishness and money-mindedness. Apart from all these if two people are commited to be in a bond then the story is different. But if they are getting married only to fulfill their parent's wish then its sometimes dangerous. Parents can understand and we can make them understand...and they will understand because they love us. What matters is the 'only effort'. If you are ready for something then go for that, but do not force yourself to do something which you are not ready for. We speech a lot, but when it will come to implement, we also fail to do that and accept all the customs of society to do exactly the opposite we have ever preached. We read a lot of theories but never thought of applying those in our own life, because we do not want to be an example for others. This is our "so-called western minded-ness". We have become westernized only in our mind and speeches NOT in our deeds.
May God Bless All.

way to live happily

Dreams--Desires--Accomplishment--Success
We are going forward in this direction. Everybody has a dream and everybody wants to fulfill it in any condition. But what we lack is 'proper arrangement' to reach to that. Here proper arrangement means pre-defined agenda. If we are going according to our plan than we can reach at our aim.

Life is full of surprises, bad and good. And sometimes life left us blank. The one thing that matters is how we use the situations. And one should be alert every time to take chance, to use a situation to his best. Because it is generally said that opportunities come once at the door step.

relationship-love-life

What does it mean by a relationship in this modern world ? What does it mean by actually loving someone? What does it represent to be madly in love?

We find many instances/cases in our day to day society. Some falling in love, some ditching each other, some using each other for some purposes etc etc. Love has become an necessity, where people NEED it, not FEEL it. I do not know whether they actually feel it or not. But I am sure they just want to be in a relationship to gratify some of their need, may be physical or emotional or sometimes just a show off. The goal is to have a boy/girl friend so that they can enjoy each other's company. And when it will come to marriage they all fear of their typical caste/class consciousness. They cannot even tell about their boy/girl friend to their parents because they love their parents so much that they just cannot think of doing such insane thing. But before falling in love, I am sure they have not thought about their parents at all. "I don't want to live without you", "I will die without you", "You are the best for me", "We are made for each other" are just the lines without any meaning for them. They use just for the sake of saying something. Or may be at the time of using they know the meaning but after sometime they can't be able to accumulate the meanings from these lines. 

All these are fake. Love is  fake, and so also a relationship. They know how to use each other for a certain period of time and after everything is over, they go forward for a loving wife/husband to live happily ever after. And these small love stories have become actually  "love stories". They also say "if we will be there with each other for a lifetime then we can't make our love a love story", there is instances of stories like "Heer-Ranjha", "Anarkali", "Romeo-Juliet" etc etc....these fellows couldn't be together so we know them, if they would have been together than there would never be a love story. So to make their love alive they do this (sounds very very funny) !

Everything has become very mechanical. It takes time to accept such things in our society. I was wondering how could people do this to themselves. May be they are more practical. I wonder how could these people forget all these after a certain period of time. Then suddenly I realized our society is changing in a greater speed. We are accepting western values in every sphere of our life. We become so familiar with concepts like live-in-relationship, lesbianism, gay ism....so why not using each other as boy/girl friend. Every body wants to have a good life and everybody want to have a good family, they are always aware for that. If doing so is not making any harm to each other, so why can't they go for that. Sometimes its mutual. Before everything they just clarify that if they will not find appropriate for each other they will not marry. At they end they do so and for that they don't regret at all. And they should not. Every body has a right to live and has a right to express his/her feelings. So whats the need of portraying himself/herself as ideal in front of others. 

Live for yourself. Because society don't pay for you, and should not be aware what others will think. Do whatever you think good. Because its your life. Live it fully, live happily.

my view

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.