our so-called western minded-ness***

Some things come very sudden. Sometimes its very hard to get what is going on, and when we realize, its already be too late. No one understand and no one pays attention. Everything in life is just an ongoing process. Whatever will happen, life must go on...

We are here for the fulfillment of certain things. And we are trying hard to get to that, in what way does not matter. Family members should appreciate this. Sometimes they became so lost that they forgot about their child's wish. They want their child to do what they want. No one pays attention to the child's wish, aim. We live in a very conservative society. No matter how much modern we think, no matter how much modern we behave...at the end, we have to do what we supposed to do (according to the stupid laws of society). For example: Marriage. This, i believe a very stupid institution in our society. Where you have to enter at your own risk (hahaha). And no one is in the exception except those few who dare to stay alone. I am not saying that Marriage is not good, but sometimes it spoil someone's life unknowingly (though its very rare). Cases are there of domestic violence, wife battering, dowry, rape etc etc, where the females do not have any other option other than "killing themselves" i.e. suicide. If not then they are killed by their so called in-laws. Now also there are cases of 'honour killings' where parents and siblings also dare to kill their own blood. Shocking !!!

The other day we are discussing the evil effects of marriage. Marriage is necessray, I agree but there are many negative points too. Marriage is a legally sactioned behaviour where one can legally rape her wife (mind it, legally), no matter what the wife goes through. I have heard many cases of 'marital rape' which come under domestic violence act. But who cares. Very few educated women also feared of getting it complained because of the fear of loosing their status. I am not talking about the rural folks, the story is very different in rural areas. Talking about the women who are educated like us also fears of doing that. And still many of like us are the victims of these violence. But as you are married you have to bear the patriarchal notions of our so-called western society. You have to behave accordingly after marriage, you have to wear certain type of clothes after marriage, even sometimes you have to change your food habits. GOD! And they all spare it only for one person, for one family...because she is a girl and she has to do so by the pre-sanctioned notions of society.

In this regard I prefer this "live-in-relationships". Here atleast you have your own choice of living and behaving and at the same time you will not be  a victim of the various societal menace. There is also disadvantages of this, but many people today are going for this. And laws of our country is also favorable for this.

The question is how you maintain a relation. Whether in a marriage or in a relationship. Post-modern world is characterised by much of selfishness and money-mindedness. Apart from all these if two people are commited to be in a bond then the story is different. But if they are getting married only to fulfill their parent's wish then its sometimes dangerous. Parents can understand and we can make them understand...and they will understand because they love us. What matters is the 'only effort'. If you are ready for something then go for that, but do not force yourself to do something which you are not ready for. We speech a lot, but when it will come to implement, we also fail to do that and accept all the customs of society to do exactly the opposite we have ever preached. We read a lot of theories but never thought of applying those in our own life, because we do not want to be an example for others. This is our "so-called western minded-ness". We have become westernized only in our mind and speeches NOT in our deeds.
May God Bless All.